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Sep 14, 2016
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Lebanese Satirist Nadim Koteich Mocks Syria: Assad Not Man Enough To Down an Israeli Plane on His iPad

#5675 | 03:00
Source: Al-Arabiya Network (Dubai/Saudi Arabia)

On his political satire show "DNA," broadcast by the Al-Arabiya network on September 14, Lebanese journalist and satirist Nadim Koteich lampooned Bashar Al-Assad after reports that Syria had downed two Israeli aircraft with missiles."Bashar Hafez Al-Assad - that's a trademark," he said. "You are too much of a coward to down a plane on your iPad, yet you want to down a plane in real life?!" Koteich is a columnist for the Asharq Alawsat daily, and his show airs on Future TV as well.

Following are excerpts

Nadim Koteich: "The entire nation...nay, humanity in its entirety... Nay, all of the creatures of the Milky Way have celebrated two holidays: Eid Al-Adha and Eid of the Downing of an Israeli Warplane by the Heroic Syrian Army."


Nadim Koteich: "The shooting of two missiles in Quneitra is no joke. Absolutely not. "

Excerpts of various clips of Syria news reports from Arab TV channels

Newscaster 1: "A ballistic message from Syria to Israel..."

Newscaster 2: "What can be said about the quality development in south Syria?"

Newscaster 3: "Let me congratulate our brothers and the Syrian Arab Army for this achievement."

News Guest: "In military science and given the current military and political situation in Syria, this is considered an ultra-strategic development, by any standard."


TV News Guest 2: "The (Israelis) did not anticipate the Syrian response."

Nadim Koteich: "Surprise! This may be one of the few times that a pro-regime commentator tells the truth on the regime TV. Israel was not ready or prepared for this. Of course it wasn't. It was not one missile, mind you. It was two. It took the house of Assad two generations - that of Papa and that of Junior - to shoot two missiles! Two whole generations of the Assad clan."


Excerpts of various clips of Syria news reports from Arab TV channels

TV News Guest 3: "This response, or the statement about it, constitutes a qualitative leap in the level of consciousness."

TV News Guest 4: "Syria is leading a war on the level of consciousness."


Nadim Koteich: "This is a war on the level of consciousness! But Syrian consciousness, obviously."


TV News Guest 5: "We talked about [the downing of the planes] and there are even pictures of it, but Israel denies that the planes were even hit."


Nadim Koteich: "So there are pictures! Where are they? Why are you hiding them behind your back? Where are the pictures of the downing of an Israeli plane? Two planes, to be precise. You down two planes - not one, mind you - your media is saying that it has pictures, and your legions of commentators present this as a battle more important than Waterloo in modern history - but after all this, they don't show the pictures?! What is all this modesty?!"


Nadim Koteich: "Mr. President, your name is Bashar Hafez Al-Assad. Do you know what that means? It means that you are not man enough to down an Israeli plane on your iPhone. Bashar Hafez Al-Assad - that's a trademark. You are too much of coward to down a plane on your iPad, yet you want to down a plane in real life?!"


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