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Following are excerpts from a TV debate about marital life, which aired on Abu Dhabi TV on November 17, 2008.
Bassam Muhammad Al-Amin: What does a husband want from his wife? The most important thing is obedience.
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Islam requires the wife to obey her husband. It is very important that a wife does not nag the husband. Nagging drives the husband away, and if that happens – that's it. He begins to plan other things, the wife begins to suspect her husband, marital problems begin, and this affects the children and their lives.
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Family consultant Khalifa Al-Mahrazi: What every man in the world hates in a wife is her moods and the tension. The wife never knows how to release these negative charges. The problem of many women is that they become like a sponge – they absorb all the negative feelings, and then they release them in a single direction – toward the husband.
Family consultant Abd Al-Rahman 'Atallah Al-Mahmoudi: That's right. When the husband comes home, he sees her crying.
Khalifa Al-Mahrazi: Exactly.
Abd Al-Rahman 'Atallah Al-Mahmoudi: And it's not his fault.
Khalifa Al-Mahrazi: Right. Many women lack the ability to control their moods. Wives are always nervous and on edge. Even if the husband is not the only one responsible, he is affected by every emotion in his home. Every man in the world needs his wife to encourage him, to appreciate him, to admire him, to support him, and to trust him.
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Abd Al-Rahman 'Atallah Al-Mahmoudi: A husband may be a company director or a government official, and when he goes places, everybody respects him. But when he comes home...
Interviewer: Nobody gets up to greet him.
Abd Al-Rahman 'Atallah Al-Mahmoudi: She might be in the kitchen, and say to him: "You're here? Get changed, and come here." She didn't even see him, she just heard him come in.
Interviewer: Maybe she doesn’t want him to smell the onion she's peeling...
Abd Al-Rahman 'Atallah Al-Mahmoudi: Then she should have done it earlier... Sometimes when he leaves, she's asleep, and when he returns, she's asleep. Sometimes, when he comes in, she's watching a film. It may be the last episode of a series, and she is all tears, the poor thing... This may seem normal to her, but a husband thinks differently. He thinks to himself: Is this film more important than me? Why doesn't she get up to welcome me?
Interviewer: Never mind the film – sometimes she's holding the child. As you know, some women use the child as an excuse for all marital problems. "Why didn't you welcome me?" "I was busy with the child."
Abd Al-Rahman 'Atallah Al-Mahmoudi: They usually say that they stayed awake with him at night.
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p>Khalifa Al-Mahrazi: There is no doubt that in some places in the Gulf countries, men prefer fat women.Interviewer: Allah be praised. This is in contrast to what is prevalent [worldwide], where men prefer women with a slim figure. Different men have different tastes.
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Woman: The phenomenon of the fattening of girls is widespread in our society. It is an ancient social custom, passed down from mother to daughter. The goal is to prepare the daughter for marriage, to make her fatter and fatter.
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