February 4, 2009 Special Dispatch No. 2220

Editor of Syrian Government-Affiliated Website: U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon is a 'Minor Functionary,' Like Chekhov's – Or Like the Pink Panther

February 4, 2009
Syria | Special Dispatch No. 2220

On January 18, 2009, when Israel's Gaza offensive was at its height, U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon visited Syria and met with Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad. The following day, 'Ali Jamalo, editor of the Syrian government-affiliated Champress website, published an opinion piece harshly criticizing Ki-Moon for his position on Gaza.[1]

Following are excerpts from Jamalo's article:

Ki-Moon "Lacks Both The Stature And The Status For This Job... [He's] Fit Only For A Debka Troupe"

"The Syrian regime did well to announce to U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon in advance – as usual – that Terje Roed Larsen [U.N envoy for the implementation of Security Council Resolution 1559, of 2004] should not accompany him on his visit to Syria – since Larsen was not welcome, because his reports had distorted [Syria's] role and harmed its citizens' reputation…

"[However,] Larsen deserves no more than a brief mention in this article – an article which will probably be resented by some Damascus decision makers… and that is aimed at raising an inescapable question: What about Ban Ki-Moon himself?

"In his capacity as 'head of the glass house [i.e. the U.N.],' Ban Ki-Moon makes intercontinental trips. But his title is clearly too big for him – indeed, this undignified man has proven that he possesses neither ability nor experience; that he lacks both the stature and the status for this job, and, in addition, that he has no influence.

"We thought that the Korean Ki-Moon belonged to that class of brilliant and perceptive individuals possessed of a culture of justice and rejecting blackmail and degradation in international relations, and that he was someone capable of standing up and saying 'no' to arrogance.

"But… it turns out that this man with the rhythmic name is fit only for a debka [Arab folk dance] troupe. The saying 'Better to keep your mouth closed and risk appearing stupid than to open it and confirm suspicions' applies to him."

We Hoped For "Some Reaction – A Word of Condemnation, A Phrase on Israel's Actions, A Hint of Disapproval... But in Vain – The Man Has No Facial Features!"

"Since the beginning of the holocaust perpetrated by Israel in Gaza, in all its ugliness and horror, we have lifted up our eyes to the 'glass house,' hoping for some reaction – a word of condemnation, a phrase on Israel's actions, or a hint of disapproval on [Ki-Moon's] face – but in vain. The man has no facial features!

"The U.N. Security Council met; the [foreign] ministers of the moderate Arab countries – that is, the sick Arab countries – abased themselves... in order to issue a resolution, no matter how colorless or odorless. [But] from Ban Ki-Moon – not one word.

"Israel destroyed the U.N. compound and the building of the U.N. relief agency in Gaza, murdering the innocents taking refuge there – as it had done in Kana. But [Ki-Moon's] face remained frozen.

"The U.N. Security Council issued an inane resolution, and Israel – as usual – rebelled and refused to abide by it. Worse, it turned its back on the Security Council and its resolutions, saying that the latter did not apply to it – and [Ki-Moon] didn't even blink.

"[Ki-Moon] went to Tel Aviv, where [Tsipi Livni], the [former] intelligence agent who became Israel's foreign minister, treated him with the utmost contempt and racism, saying, 'The resolutions of your [Security] Council do not apply to us. Go to hell, and take your resolutions with you.' But the man's face remained immobile."

Ki-Moon Is "A Minor Functionary... Like Chekhov's... [Or Like] The Pink Panther"

"[Ki-moon] is a minor functionary, incapable of daring or of paying the price for [taking] a position. He is like Chekhov's characters – faceless minor functionaries afraid of their own shadows. He also reminds me of the Pink Panther, an ignorant cartoon character that fails at every task he undertakes.

"So, [Mr. Ki-Moon,] you were in Damascus yesterday. What did you say, and what will you say about this country, against which you bore false witness, [confirming] all the fabrications of your man in Lebanon [i.e. Larsen]? Have you any news for your handlers, who hold the remote control?

"Have you new proposals for making allegations, or would you like some tips? How about accusing Syria of delaying the rainy season, controlling the Gaza-Sinai tunnels, or failing to demarcate the border between the two Koreas? [Why not] also hold Syria responsible for the world economic crisis, the expansion of the hole in the ozone, and the increase in poverty? After all, [isn't it already claimed that Syria] is subsidizing global terror?

"Mr. Ban Ki-Moon, you are a pitiable wretch, with no acting talent – because acting requires sincerity, while you have no idea what that is.

"And, by the way, has Mr. Terje Roed Larsen told you how much the Hariri family paid him for twisting the facts in his reports and violating his conscience? But then again, maybe, like you, he has no conscience."


[1] (Syria), January 19, 2009. Champress reported that an aide to Ki-Moon had complained about the article to Syrian presidential political and media advisor Buthaina Sha'ban, who had replied that Champress was a private website, independent of the Syrian regime. It was also reported that during the Kuwait summit, Syrian Foreign Minister Walid Al-Mu'allem had approached Jamalo, who attended the summit, and told him that his article had upset Ki-Moon. (Syria), January 19 and 21, 2009.

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