Egyptian Islamic scholar Dr. Yosry Gabr explained the conditions for wife beating, saying the practice is intended to instill discipline, and not "to cause pain." He spoke in a video that was posted on his YouTube channel on August 5, 2021. Dr. Gabr said that it is forbidden for a husband to beat his wife in public, to cause her pain, or to leave a mark on her body, and that anyone who does so is a criminal. He went on to explain that if the wife is disobedient, meaning that she is condescending towards her husband, then he must admonish her or give her a gift, so that she will "obey him out of love." Dr. Gabr said that this is because women are controlled by their emotions and not by reason, and that this is what makes them "sweet." He further said that if this does not work, the husband must "forsake" her in bed, and if she is a "nasty person and does not want to understand," he should beat her. Dr. Gabr explained that the beating must only be done to instill discipline in the wife and not to cause her pain.
Yosry Gabr: "I see men beating their wives in the street, or on the bus. They say: 'But our Lord said 'beat them.' This is taking the words out of their context. Whoever distorts the Quran this way is a criminal. The beating that the Quran mentions is for the purpose of instilling discipline. Therefore, it must follow these conditions: It must not be painful to the body, it must not leave a mark, it must not be on the face, and never in front of other people.
"We are talking here about a disobedient wife. A disobedient wife is a wife who is condescending toward her husband, and does not want to conduct herself in a polite manner with him. In this case, he has no choice but to discipline her. The disciplining begins with admonition. [The husband] should educate her, show her affection, love her, and make her love him, so she would obey him out of love. We always say that only obedience out of love lasts. Forced obedience does not last.
"If you did all this and your wife is still condescending toward you, your wife needs to be admonished. 'Admonish them,' means to advise them. You should advise her once or twice, with words or with actions. Give her a present. If she has a bad day, give her a present. If she likes wearing gold [jewelry], buy her a gold ring. She would jump up with joy. Their minds are controlled by emotion… By the way, this is what makes them sweet. If your wife's mind was controlled by reason, you would not be able to live with her, you would feel as if you married a man.
"If the admonishment does not work - 'forsake them in bed.' Go sleep in another room. If you have only one room, sleep in one corner while she sleeps in another. Get it? The purpose is to make her feel that you don't really need her, that you can do without her, that her beauty does not arouse you or draw your attention. This hurts a woman's feeling very much – to feel that her husband does not need her and does not want to look at her.
"Let's assume that she is a nasty person and refuses to understand. In such a case, we turn to beating, but beating for the sake of instilling discipline, not in order to inflict pain."