Antisemitic Satire on a Saudi TV Channel

Following is an excerpt from an antisemitic satirical program, which aired on MBC TV on April 19, 2007:

Elisa: I've used five grams of sugar this month. Five grams? That's too much, Elisha. Keep it down, you've become a big spender.

Friend: Help me, Elisha. Elisha, help!

Elisha: What's happened? Is your store on fire, or have they raised the taxes?

Friend: No, my friend. Everything is great, and our shares are on the rise.

Elisha: You gave me a fright, my friend.

Friend: Yes, my friend. Yes.

Elisha: What's wrong with your eye?

Friend: What can I say, Elisha? Yesterday, I slept next to the baby, may God burn him. He has gas, and he blinded my eye.

Elisha: God forbid, stay away from me.

Friend: We're facing a disaster, Elisha.

Elisha: As long as you and me are OK, I'm not worried about any disaster.

Friend: It's written in the papers. Katsav is over and done with. They got rid of him after the scandal.

Elisha: He deserves it, my friend.

Friend: But the problem, Elisha, is who will lead the country, my friend.

Elisha: Whoever is elected by the people, my friend. We are a democratic country.

Friend: True.

Elisha: My friend, I will nominate myself as a candidate for president of the republic.

Friend: Shame on you, Elisha, it was on the tip of my tongue. I came to tell you that I would nominate myself as a candidate.

Elisha: No, my friend, I said it first. Let's not ruing our relationship, my friend.

Friend: Fine, my friend. Nominate yourself. But can you guarantee success in the elections?

Elisha: Of course. Success is 100% guaranteed.

Friend: How come?

Elisha: I will tell you. The thieves and the highway robbers – who will they vote for?

Friend: They won't find anyone better than you.

Elisha: The extremists and the racists – who will they vote for?

Friend: There is nobody else but you, my friend.

Elisha: OK. Now tell me, the lowlifes and the criminals – who will they vote for?

Friend: Nobody is more of a lowlife than you, Elisha.

Elisha: OK, the punks and the bums – who will they vote for?

Friend: What can I say? No one is more of a bum than you.

Elisha: My friend, the only ones left are the unemployed, the sons of bitches, and the perverts – and who will they vote for?

Friend: Even if they toured all of Israel, they wouldn't find anyone more perverted than you, my friend.

Elisha: Give me a kiss.

Friend: So my friend, who is left in Israel that I've forgotten? Everybody will vote for me.

Friend: To be honest, my friend, that's it. There is nobody else.

Elisha: You see, my friend, success is 99% guaranteed.

Friend: What a shame, Elisha. If I were to nominate myself as a candidate, I would get 100%.