In her May 4, 2011 column in the Kuwaiti daily Al-Qabas, Khuloud 'Abdallah Al-Khamis described how she had always dreamed of being the wife of Osama bin Laden.
Following are excerpts from her column:
"[In My Mind] He would Arrive at Dawn, Secretly, from Tora Bora, Covering Great Distances to be with a Woman Who Dreamed of Him"
"What would life be like at his side? How frequently I ask that question of [my reflection] in the mirror, as I imagine him and imagine that my smile is for him alone.
"When a woman claims that she beautifies herself for herself alone, she is lying, because behind every mirror is the shadow of the man to whom she dreams of giving all the beauty in the world when she appears in front of him. Osama [bin Laden] was that shadow behind my mirror; [in my mind] he would arrive at dawn, secretly, from Tora Bora, covering great distances to be with a woman who dreamed of him as her husband."
"I Would Get to Wash [Bin Laden's] Awe-Inspiring Beard, Dirtied by the Dust Through Which He Crawled All Night Long"
"So many times, my heart has tempted me to go towards his cave and to take the empty seat among the wives of the Caliph [i.e. bin Laden] – and when my night would arrive, I would get to wash his awe-inspiring beard, dirtied by the dust through which he crawled all night long. Is it conceivable that a jihad fighter's bed would be a bed of down and brocade velvet?
"I dreamed of being Osama's companion there, where the utmost danger lurks, so I could clasp his galabiya, stained with the blood of martyrdom, to my bosom, so I could be his companion as he [counted] the burdensome seconds, waiting to join the convoy of [his martyred] comrades and friends...
"Osama, the knight who dismounted from the horse of worldly pleasure, donned a [cleric's] turban, gripped a Kalashnikov, and entered the tunnel from which there is no return. From there I saw his stature reach to the heavens, as he recruited the knights in response to the voices of the women of Islam, whose honor has been violated and whose strength is gone, and who cry out [to him], 'Osama!'...
"How would life be with a husband who does not weaken at the sight of a woman's tears? What would a day be like in the life of an ordinary woman married to a man who never strays from the straight path and always receives God's grace, a man with no [fixed] schedule of coming and going, sitting and standing, eating lunch or dinner, when his wife never knows how long he will stay?
"What is morning like with a man who never sleeps? How could she threaten to leave him when he does not fear this? How could she seek pleasure in his arms him when pleasure is not in his vocabulary?
"How can a woman wish on herself a husband who never knows fear, never grows bored, never tires, and loves none but Allah? What weak spot would she [exploit], since he cannot be tempted? How could I be Osama's wife and pluck the strings of his desire for me.... when he desires only the virgins [of Paradise] – to whom mortal women can never measure up? Why does he stay with any woman when he has already divorced this world?
"Can we understand Osama like we understand [other] men? Or perhaps he has overturned the meaning of masculinity, so that after him, [all] men are but hollow bodies, and our definition of 'men' is changed so that it is no longer what it was before him?"
"Thank You for Making me Dream of You as a Husband"
"[Here] in the dust of males who leave no impression, I had forgotten how a woman's soul yearns only for a man of steady loyalty [and] belief, a victor, a knight who dismounts only for something loftier. [I had forgotten] how a woman's soul, with all its guile and seductiveness, dreams of a man who will never be affected by her character, who will take her under the [shelter] of his rib, whence she was first created... of his mercies.
"Thank you [Osama], for making me dream of you as a husband. I tell you that we shall follow your will and testament, but seated as a strong base[1] – because where we find the will to stand after you have gone?
"Oh, Osama... even if I did not have the honor of belonging to your family in this world, I promise I that will see you there [in the next world]...
"Farewell, dream husband for whom I wait."
Endnote:
[1] This is a play on the word Al-Qaeda, which means a (military) base.
